Anti-fart Juice

I snacked on some weeks-old watermelon today. I should have known better; the once-crisp chunks had started to collapse inward like melting pink icebergs, and the pale seeds wept from fleshy sockets. My stomach felt hard and distended within 10 minutes.

Naturally, the only remedy for my affliction was sipping Anti-Fart Juice from a horizontal position whilst moaning. I explained this to my roommate, Alicia, and once she stopped laughing, she asked about the contents of my mug. It is on her behalf that I now reveal my magic potion’s super-secret recipe:

ANTI-FART JUICE

Ingredients:

-1 tablespoon of chopped ginger (fresh is preferable to the graying, bought-this-for-stir-fry-weeks-ago-and-completely-forgot-about-it variety)

-1 squirt of lemon juice

-1 squeeze of honey

-Hot water

Instructions:

-Heat some water. Pour it into a mug

-Dump the lemon juice and honey into the mug

-Stir

-Place the ginger inside one of those metal, medieval torture device-looking tea ball thingies.

-Drop the teal ball thingy in the hot water. Seep

-Sip whilst horizontal and moaning